Filthy chat lines

Posted by / 01-Jul-2017 03:11

I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock! Why pay when you can't get this footling for free Do you handle chickens because you look like you'd be good with cocks Do you have rubbers at your house or should I pull out? Cause I'm about to bend Jehovah and let you witness this dick. First, I'd like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then, I'll move up to your belly button. You go kneel right there and I'll throw you my meat. Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken wing? My dick is like catnip, it'll make a cougar like you go wild. Have this flower before I take yours Your Ass Looks Nice, does it need servicing cause I got a wrench and some screws just for you. The last woman I was with said, "Kiss me where it stinks." So, I drove her to New Jersey. (I guess) Good, 'cause Imma tape this dick to your forehead so you CDs nuts Are you going to that funeral? If I don't cum in 30 minutes, the next one is free. I'll kiss you in the rain, so you get twice as wet. If you were an elevator, what button would I have to push to get you to go down? Well spread my cheeks and call me cell bitch;' you're prettier than anyone I ever met in the joint! I have a tongue like an anteater; want to go to the zoo? Hey people call me the bar stool because of my third leg Do you like tapes and CDs? What if I start this relationship with you as a frien. Since we shouldn't waste things in this bad economy, what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire. Would you like to meet my friend Master Bates (masturbates)? (Looking at a girls ass) Where does this bus go anyway? I dont care that u used to be fat, just come here and let me eat that cat! Boy: Spell Me Girl: M E Boy: You forgot the D Girl: There is no D in me. Because you can jack it when we get back to my place" I call my dick the truth because bitches can't handle it Were you conceived on a sofa? You are so beautiful that I want to be reincarnated as your child so that I can breastfeed by you until I'm 5. Hey baby, i was wondering if you got enough sun today because I am trying to give you some vitamin D! Come in the house and take off ur coat, open ur mouth and let me coat the back of that throat! " Is your dad a carnie (carnival worker) Because I want you sit to on my face while I try to guess your weight.

I heard you like Magic, well bend over and watch my dick disappear Your so hot I'd jack your dad off just to see where you came from. (What Funeral) The one where MY BALLZ drop dead in your mouth I'm not a dick in real life, but I'll play one in your vagina tonight! Does your pussy smell like fish because I like sushi Looks don't matter, I'll just wrap you in a flag and fuck you for glory. I'm not skinny, I'm ribbed for your her pleasure Your beauty is why God invented eye balls, your booty is why God invented my balls. I would tell you a joke about my penis...its too long ;) I forgot my blow job at your house, can i come over and get it?

I've got a big one, you wanna see how hard it works? Caution, Slippery When Wet, Dangerous Curves ahead, Yield?

I like my women, like I like my ice cream, fat free and dripping down my fingers Girl, your eyes are bluer than Heisenberg's crystal! I lost my pants, do you mind if I wrap your legs around me instead? Cause you gonna be choking on the D Hey baby, what's your sign?

Hey, lets play farmer, You be the farmland, I'll plant the seed. " Baby I want to wear you like a pair of sun glasses, one leg over each ear. Are you fertilizer, cause you just made me grow 6 inches. Cause I'm gonna put my warm balls on your face weather you like it or not Come here or my dick will start CUMING for you!

I'm an asshole, but will that stop me from getting in yours? Walk up to a female and look at her crotch then look at her face back to crotch to face and say "Are you gonna eat that? Are you my Co-Pilot, cause I'ma take you to the cockpit. Lets play circus, first sit on my face i'll guess ur weight and i'll eat the difference Do you like chocolate, cause your gonna choke alot on this dick Are you constipated? How about you get on your knees and smile like a donut! I've just received government funding for a four-hour expedition to find your G-spot. The word for tonight is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word?

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If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put my name first so you could memorize what to moan later on tonight Are you a Jehovah's Witness? Lie down on that couch and pretend your legs hate each other.