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Or he may have difficulty with intimacy or some other issue she could have no way of knowing about. She wanted to know if she had done something to drive him away.
As she went over their conversation in her mind, she realized there was one thing that stood out—though she did not want to believe it.
Fortunately, of course, there are also men and women who do fit the pattern discovered in the research.
I have seen and known many men who are close to, romantically attracted to, and in long-term, successful marriages with women who outperform them—and whom they also consider smarter than themselves. After a lot of dates, a few duds, and a period of unsuccessful meet-ups, she met and fell in love with a man who admires and is attracted to her as a whole package—intelligence and all.
A very smart woman needs a man who can see her value and understands how being with her makes him look better.
-----“if you want to find a husband, don’t be too smart.” How, exactly, does a person make themselves "unsmart"?
In this study, men who believed themselves to have been to be attracted by women who they think are smarter or more competent at intellectual tasks than they are, but only if the women are at a psychological and physical distance from them.
In a different study, the researchers put male college students in a room to take a test with a college-aged woman who was, in fact, a “confederate” or “plant” of the team.
This young woman was supposedly taking the test with the students, and made limited small talk before the test began.
But now that she was dating again, she was worried that her mom might have been onto something. A study published in July, 2015 suggests that she might well have been, much to the consternation of many women—and some men.
Lora Park, a social psychologist at the University of Buffalo, and her colleagues Ariana Young and Paul Eastwick studied the reactions of men to women they experienced as smarter than them and found an interesting phenomenon that might very well explain what happened between Sara and John.
While we may admire a superior woman from afar we are unlikely to pursue a woman who we think is "to good" for us.